What is in Kelvin's Head?

Predictions for 2014

01/01/2014
1. Remember those people who used to say, “But what is a blog…?” Well this year you are going to be hearing them say, “But what is a mooc…?”
2. Gay men are going to start shaving again. Now that so many straight men have bought into the idea that beards are hip, it is time to mess with their fashion sense again. Consider this the memo. (Next year, the end of tattoos!)
3. Church of Scotland General Assembly will be unable to affirm last year’s compromise on a local option for ministers who happen to be gay.
4. More revelations relating to Cardinal Keith Patrick O’Brien.
5. Number of active bloggers decreases. Influence of those still blogging increases.
6. The real purpose of the Pilling Report will be revealed with hindsight as evangelicals begin to argue about its contents. (May take a couple of years, but trust me on this one). Initially this will be in private – increasingly in public. Having been the great unifying factor for Evangelicals for the last 10 years, attitudes to gay people will become the source of greatest disunity amongst Evangelicals for the next decade. Unappealing and unsatisfying as it is, Pilling is a watershed – it was never designed to court liberal opinion so we might as well stop moaning about it. It was designed to divide evangelical opinion and is going to be jolly successful.
7. The Independence Referendum will be lost here in Scotland but alas, not by enough to shut everyone up.
8. Such terrible statistics in the Diocese of Glasgow and Galloway that we lose at least 4 seats on General Synod.
9. Lord Carey will say that Christians are being persecuted in the UK, that the church is dying out or that the sky is going to fall in, and will say it at the most unhelpful time possible – probably around one of the English General Synods or Easter.
10. We will hear about our first UK gay divorce.
Trends to watch
- Continued meltdown of the Church of Scotland. Ceasing to be a national church before our very eyes.
- Internet increasingly rewards those who know how to manipulate images.
- Economic polarization of the UK continues.
New Year Predictions

7 responses to “Solstice”

Kimberly

21/06/2007

Blue woad, Kelvin.

(perhaps with a dash of white wine vinegar?)

And it is not the virgin per se that is sacrificed.

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kelvin

22/06/2007

Ah, now I see what he really wanted the vinegar for.

Keep those suggestions coming.

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chris

22/06/2007

Naked, with sprigs of bog myrtle ( to keep away the midges). We did same in Edinburgh Botanics – lovely calm evening, affronted heron (too many people at bedtime) – and nae midges!

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kelvin

22/06/2007

Chris, the image of you naked in the Edinburgh Bots complete with affronted heron will stay with me for quite a while. Glad you enjoyed it, but no idea how you got away with it.

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asphodeline

22/06/2007

I love Solstice. Broomstick, wand and something warming to drink!! Naked isn’t so good when there are midges about of course 🙂

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chris

22/06/2007

I realised what I’d said just after hitting ‘post’ – but glad it went through. We aim to amuse …

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Andrew

22/06/2007

I think that Canon 17b in the Cof E requires Deans to go to Stonehenge on 2ist June. Having fought a running battle with the local constabulary, they then recite the ‘Quinque Vult’ and there is a retiring collection for the Bishop of Salisbury. Then all face west and exchange the Peace with hippies etc before wishing them well on their journey to Glastonbury for the real liturgy of the year.
Kelvin , your penance in the rain and the presentation of wine-vinegar to the stranger means that the Summer Solstice will now be commemorated as St Kelvins’ Day – assuming the Faith and Order Board approve.

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