What is in Kelvin's Head?

10 Correct Opinions About Christmas Carols

27/12/2018
Public service announcement.

The following opinions are all correct.
1. The first carol on Christmas Day should always be Christians Awake Salute the Happy Morn. It should be sung lustily and with the last line repeated.
2. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night may be sung to almost any tune. It must not, however, be sung to the tune Winchester Old
  - Acceptable tunes shall include:
    
    Liverpool
    
    Glasgow
    
    Lyngham
    
    Old Foster
    
    Sweet Chiming Christmas Bells
    
    Cranbrook – This may only be used once in every decade in any one place. There’s a limit to how entertaining it is.
3. The best carol of all is It Came Upon the Midnight Clear and it must be sung to the tune Noel by Arthur Sullivan. There are many things in which the US based Episcopal Church is correct but it is incorrect in its choice of tune for this carol. It may also be sung at Michaelmas. The incorrect words “It Came upon a midnight clear” are anathema. They have as much place in the Christian faith as Sundays before Advent or Sundays before Lent – ie none whatsoever.
4. Jingle Bells is not a carol.
5. The carol Of the Father’s Love Begotten may be sung at any time from Advent Sunday until the Feast of Candlemas. It must only be sung to the words agreed by Mr Frikki Walker and myself. The verse about seer and sybyl must always be included as it is both profound and reminds us all of Sybil Fawlty. I have every intention of broadcasting this carol unto the nation at the earliest opportunity so that everyone else may copy the St Mary’s version of the words.
6. 10 points may be claimed for anyone spotting a heresy in any carol. A bonus of 50 points is awarded to anyone who can come up with a heresy-free version that people will enjoy singing.
  - Your starter for 10 is “Veiled in flesh the Godhead see” which sounds like Docetism to me.
7. Anyone claiming that carols should be sung “in the original version” shall be required to sing Hark How All The Welkin Rings at the next carol service they are at and will then be required to explain to everyone at the door what a welkin is.
8. In the Bleak Midwinter may be sung, even though Jesus probably was not born amidst snow. However, it may only be sung by a good choir singing the Harold Darke version.
9. O Come All Ye Faithful is a Jacobite rallying call and is most proper for Scottish Episcopalians to sing.
10. Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese and not marzipan and icing.
Thank you for your attention.
Christmas carols

9 responses to “SynodBlogging – 10 Mission and Ministry”

vicky

08/06/2007

Reading this makes for light relief at work. Experiencing it, I suspect, might be like having one’s teeth pulled without anaesthesia.

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Shelley

08/06/2007

I am snugly in my wee office meant to be writing a sermon and thought instead to catch up with the goings on accross the country. I discovered rightly that yours truly would keep me up to date in unique style, so, many thanks for the blogs.

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GadgetVicar

08/06/2007

You’ve done a fantastic job, K. I’ve particularly enjoyed your commentary! I can see you fulfilling the same role at Synod that Terry Wogan does at Eurovision. Well done and thank you!

I really do think that we need to find somewhere that offers a wireless connection for next year. It’s essential in this day and age that the rest of the church gets good communication on what’s happening at Synod, and not just the potted version that comes out in minutes or ‘Inspires’.

And you? A ‘fairy’? I’m shocked – I had no idea!

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David Campbell

08/06/2007

Just to totally echo Fr GadgetVicar’s praise Kelvin – a fantastic series of wee reports for those of us not fortunate (?) enough to be there this year. We definitely need more of this kind of thing.

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Miriam

09/06/2007

Have you tried playing the “add the word to the end of the sentence” game yet? This is something which works very well in lectures.

Pass a piece of paper along the row, each person adds a word to the end of the sentence. It provides intermittent bouts of light relief in dificult situations without compromising your ability to pay attention for the majority of the time. Also. when played discreetly it isn’t obvious to whoever is speaking at the time therefore not causing any offence.

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Elizabeth

11/06/2007

So, what is the difference between something passing unanimously or passing nem con?

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Kimberly

11/06/2007

The difference is whose in the chair.

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kelvin

11/06/2007

If something is passed nem con, it means that there is no objection from anyone. (There may be abstentions). If it is passed unanimously, then it means that everyone present votes in favour.

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David

13/01/2008

In refrence to having ones teeth being pulled out, I fear I have to agree. I spend most of that week there soing the sound and AV stuff for synod and the OSCR seminar preceeding it. For a 16 year old it is not a exciting experiance. But I did find out one thing, there is something, there is something more boring then diosician synod.

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