• Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

4 responses to “Will no-one rid me of this turbulent plumber?”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Will no-one rid me of this turbulent plumber?
    Argh!

    Latest update.

    I seem to be living in a parallel universe. I have been captured by plumbing aliens and have been taken to planet plumber. Either that or I am the living embodiment of a plumber’s online adventure game.

    The latest is that there is a crack in the hot water tank between the heating coil and the tank containing domestic hot water. Thus the tank needs to be changed. No useable hot water until this is done next week.

    This means showers instead of baths. (When will I get to think?). Boiling washing up water. No use of the washing machine. Fortunately I still have the dishwasher, which comes off the cold water supply and also the heating, so the house is not cold.

    However it appears that most of next week will be spent waiting for plumbers as well.

  2.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Will no-one rid me of this turbulent plumber?
    Easy solution.  Do what I do –  take your washing to your mother!

    Sorted!!!!!!!!!

  3.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Will no-one rid me of this turbulent plumber?
    How I am supposed to be a mystic visionary with all this going on?
    *politely puts hand up*
    Um, aren’t mystic visionaries supposed to go without certain creature comforts in order to have such visions???? This will surely help, no?
    Alternatively, you could give up hot water for Lent.

  4.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Re: Will no-one rid me of this turbulent plumber?
    Well, I don’t find it particularly difficult to imagine St Anthony making his way to the desert wadi looking for clear water, finding only muddy guck and crying: “How I am supposed to be a mystic visionary with all this going on?”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Holy Saturday

    A very busy Holy Saturday morning with people decorating and cleaning the church for tomorrow. It is o­ne of my favourite times of the year. Daffodils and beeswax and happy people.

  • Good Friday

    And it really has been a good, Good Friday. Lots of people at church, the choir joining in and a film in the hall during the evening. The film was Jesus Christ Superstar and went down a treat.I say that Lent finishes at Compline o­n Good Friday and that therefore going out for a drink…

  • Hearse Victory

    An easy victory in the end. The nibs are being scaled down to make way for hearses. No chaining myself to a JCB after all. There will still be nibs, but the dropped kerb is being moved to reclaim two more parking places and the nibs considerably shortened. This will allow hearses to come close…