• How to sleep on the sleeper

    Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

    Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….

    • Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
    • Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
    • Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
    • For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
    • If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
    • For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
    • For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
    • Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
    • The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
    • Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
    • Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
    • Flipflops.
    • Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
    • If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
    • You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
    • That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
    • Take extra water.
    • The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
    • Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
    • You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.

    Any tips I missed?


3 responses to “Sermon for Janey Godley”

  1. John Ferrier Avatar
    John Ferrier

    I think that’s really nicely done, Kelvin. Thank you for letting us all hear it.

  2. Canon Cliff Piper Avatar
    Canon Cliff Piper

    Fabulous

  3. Therese Reid Avatar
    Therese Reid

    A fitting tribute

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