What is in Kelvin's Head?

Dear Tom

03/12/2013

Dear Tom

Like so many people I saw your video yesterday. Within minutes of you posting it, it was appearing in my twitter stream along with loads of messages supporting you. Then you started to appear on the news and the radio and no doubt your picture will be in the press this morning on many a front page.

And all because you said you are in a relationship and had found happiness with another man.

My first response was to hope that you can carve out a bit of privacy to enjoy being with someone who makes you happy.

My second response was to think how lucky other young people are that people like you are around these days. I remember a time when no-one talked about these things at all. Even though sometimes it seems a bit over the top these days, and I bet you wish everyone would leave you alone to mind your own business at the moment, trust me, these are better times than when I was young. In those days no-one talked about these things in public. Or at least if they did say anything they didn’t say anthing terribly helpful or kind. To see so many lovely messages sent to you in the last day warms my heart no end and makes me realise that we’ve managed to build a better world. I know it must be intrustive – forgive me though whilst I appreciate this moment when a happy-looking young man’s relationship with another man is headline news for all the right reasons and not a bunch of nasty reasons. I never thought I would see such a day.

When I was your age there was something new to think about too – AIDS was hitting the public consciousness in a very new and very scary way when I was 19. I was just at college and hearing a pretty stark and shocking message – that loving someone might kill me. It was not a great time to be learning about life.

Sadly, it is the case that HIV is rising again amongst people of your age and the health campaigns are not terribly focused now.

What you’ve done in coming out about your relationship will be hugely significant for lots of people. Hopefully in being honest about who you are you will inspire others to do the same. Honesty is one of the keys to making the world a safer place.

There’s a load of nonsense being talked about labels today – people are saying you are gay because of your statement and others are arguing that you are bisexual and then bickering amongst themselves about what that means. Take no notice of any of it but take some time to work out what it means for you to be whole.

There are so few people in same-sex relationships in the sports world who find themselves able to be honest and that’s what makes your video so significant. It will inspire people. It will also sadly enrage a few people but thankfully far fewer than ever there were before. Any prejudice against you will be exposed for what it is and be widely condemned. You are helping to build a world where such actions become ever less acceptable – and thank you for joining in that struggle.

Even though you probably think that there’s no-one left in the world now who doesn’t know about what you’ve said, you’ll probably find that you end up remembering this moment throughout your life as it is repeated in smaller and less public ways. I came out very publicly (in the pulpit rather than on youtube!) and I know how often I still find myself coming out all over again, even to people who “know”. In some ways, it lasts a lifetime and I never understood that when I was first starting to talk about my own sexuality in public. Be strong and take each day as it comes. People are excited for you because they can see so many wonderful opportunities that could lie ahead for you and we’ve not had that many role models like you. But don’t get hung up on being a role model – just enjoy life, live well and work hard at your sport.

Stay safe and encourage others to be. Stay grounded too and find your own place in the world to stand. And enjoy this time. Enjoy being with someone who makes you happy. Heaven knows, you need someone who can support you in amongst all this hullabaloo.

You are loved by thousands. And you are also loved by one particular someone.

Good wishes to both of you amidst all the media circus.
KELVIN

coming out, Tom Daley

11 responses to “The Joy of Evensong”

Kennedy

23/09/2014

Does England-shire have Breach of the Peace as an offence?

Reply
1. Kelvin
  
  23/09/2014
  
  It is not an offence, but it is a concept. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breach_of_the_peace#England.2C_Wales_and_Northern_Ireland
  
  There may be other ways of dealing with it as anti-social behaviour.
  
  Reply
  1. Ruth
    
    25/09/2014
    
    I do hope so. The Abbey’s been there for hundreds of years, it’s not as if it could be said to be encroaching on the buskers’ pitch.
    
    Reply
Gerry Lynch

23/09/2014

I’ve long been a Choral Evensong addict. You might be interested in the article linked to, which I wrote on a similar theme. I’d also say, apropos the BCP, let alone the delightful SPB, that rumours of their death are greatly exaggerated, despite what was in many places a quite conscious attempt to kill them off.

Rather as the worship of the pre-Reformation English Church lay dormant for centuries waiting to be rediscovered, the same will apply to our historic prayer books with their wonderfully rich language, incomparable Collects and Prayers, and realistic take on the human condition.

http://sammymorse.wordpress.com/2014/06/05/why-is-cathedral-evensong-growing-and-what-does-it-mean/

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Richard

23/09/2014

Someone once described to me that evensong was the jewel in the crown of Anglican services. Never having experienced the service at that time, I had no idea what he was talking about. Since then, I have been fortunate enough to attend evensong regularly in various places where I have discovered the subliminal quality of evensong worship. There is a feeling of intense and intimate communion with God, where the music encourages one to slip in and out of meditative consciousness. Fabulous stuff- it can leave one drained in the most delightful way.
Incidentally, I have heard people complain that they don’t like evensong because there isn’t anything “to do”. Tragic.

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Susan Sheppard Hedges

23/09/2014

As a singer in a choir recently returned to the US from two weeks of ‘subbing’ at Norwich and Wells Cathedrals, I love the evensong. All the hubbing and bubbing in rehearsals previous to the service left one almost panting for breath. Then the choir gathered outside the quire as the organist played the prelude and we entered. Yes, we worried about the singing, but the prayers were most wonderful and gave even us that time to be in communion. I love it.

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Beth Thomas

23/09/2014

Summer evenings, evening chorus of birds, peace at the end of the day, time to reflect on the week past and that to come, treading in the steps that people have taken since the 16th Century plus some of the most sublime liturgical music written. What’s not to like?

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Bob

23/09/2014

Evensong at St. Mary’s is sublime you sum it up wonderfully Kelvin. A peace that passeth all understanding and speaks to the soul.

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Graham Ward

23/09/2014

I find Choral Evensong is often the easiest service to bring people who are strangers to church to. It doesn’t demand the same degree of commitment sort involvement as the Eucharist. No-one’s going to shake your hand and offer you the Peace whether you want them to or not, you don’t have that awkward moment that says “I don’t go to church” when everyone else goes up for communion and you’re left alone in the pew.
The pattern of the daily office is easily explained, as are the cycles of psalms and bible readings. The idea that this form of service has been used, virtually unchanged, for hundreds of years reminds people of the permanence of the church – and instantly makes them a part of it. And crucially, much of the best church music is not found in settings of the Mass, but in the canticles and anthems used at Morning Prayer and Evensong.

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Jaye Richards-Hill

24/09/2014

Evensong was certainly what brought me to St Mary’s at first-and it is still one of the things (along with morning prayer) that I miss the most.

I’ve always loved the service – the words,music,silence all come together for me into something which yes, very much soothes my soul.
In Cape Town, they do a Jazz Vespers once a month which is basically, Evensong with some really smooth cool jazz music…. that’s a nice twist on an old friend…

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Melissa Holloway

24/09/2014

Evensong changed our life, I think.

And afterward we would take the almost adults across the street for some of their first ales and pizza.

Now I see it was such a fleeting moment. Most evensongs seem like that to me still- wonderful and fleeting.

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