I hope when I die I am mourned more by the poor than by the rich.
I hope my coffin is carried by friends and not by soldiers.
I hope the clocks keep chiming for the world only spins forwards.
I hope that money is not wasted on my obsequies which could be better spent on doing good.
I hope that an Easter mass is celebrated not state-sanctioned pomp and pride.
We were there yesterday as well – you should use Swarm and I might have known! But we left after the first gate for the same reasons as you’re complaining here – that feeling of being in school, or a prison, perhaps. Not a good move, Glasgow!
> More troubling to me is that people on the Green were apparently being told to cover up YES badges indicating their support for Scottish Independence.
What about people with NO badges? Or was no-one wearing one?!
Seriously, a good post and I agree with it.
I was not only frisked each way walking from Douglas St to “The Hub” (back of the Science Centre) but, on the way back when I was actually going to stop in the BBC’s carnival to buy some (in the end, over-priced and under-nice) lunch, the security weasel suggested that I might like to opt out of walking through a public right of way and go some 500m elsewhere so I wasn’t an inconvenience to her and her colleagues.
A. She wasn’t a volunteer.
B. The restriction of individual liberty is the first and most desired recourse of petty British officialdom.
C. Unlike petty French officialdom, whose first and most desires recourse is Madam Guillotine.
After a PR blunder involving a local Guru of ethnic minority (technically the majority) Herod was anxious to be seen to be benevolent. “5K” had a historical precedent; the concept was simple, marketable and had obvious corporate tie-ins with opportunities for merchandising. The Vizier sourced another Guru, a cousin of the dead one but with better ratings and demographics (and a lot more camera-friendly). Generic ads (CARING/ SHARING/ WEALTH CREATION) went viral on social media, the venue was booked and tickets (£15) sold online.
Jesus proved difficult from the start. He wanted it free and couldn’t see the need to fence the Table. He couldn’t even see the need for the Table. “Okay” said the Vizier (whose eyes kept glazing over as Security patched in on his Link-Up) “we love you, we love the robes and sandals, we love the concept – yeah? Let’s just keep the synergy flowing and focus on half-full, blue skies – sorry – Mike? Yeah PR here, how’s that bulldozing going? Yeah? Flat. And can you schmooze the protesters off-camera? Yeah. We’ll need the whole space for carparking. Sorry – so, Jesus, right? Cool. Just some Health & Safety details to go over:
• Bread ‘n Fishes shrinkwrapped 5K pax must remain in the corporate cooler till distribution by authorised personnel only – all in Hi Viz.
• No healing or blessing, it’s just too big a crowd and we don’t want a crush at the barriers (also healing kinda spins our plucky human interest stories outta line).
Your slot is 3 mins max, Jesus, we’ve drafted your mission statement, here. Any vocab issues? We want the tone local, down with the Palestinian people, not too obviously Roman. Let’s just go over it:
1. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s (we don’t do God)
2. Yes you can! (can you avoid the whole structural poverty rant? it comes across as patronising and we want to emphasise equal opportunity)
3. The parable of the talents (just as it is)
Cool.”
Everything went smoothly on the day. The whole area had been cleared of undesirables and Herod’s helicopters, horseguards and hounds kept the peace in the huge crowd packed between the steel barriers, happily clutching their tokens for Bread ‘n Fishes; tasteful woven willow miniature food baskets (blessed ones £5 extra) and leaflets for voluntourism. Alternating muzak and plucky soundbites on the massive LED screens kept the crowd amused while they waited for the main act.
Which never came. Jesus had slipped through the crowds and walked away.
O Lord and Ruler of the House of Israel, who appeared to Moses in the flame of the burning bush and gave him the law on Sinai: come, and redeem us with outstretched arms. Amen. We have lost sight of the fact that ruling is a holy responsibility. For those who have decisions to make…
O Wisdom, who came from the mouth of the Most High, reaching from end to end and ordering all things mightily and sweetly: come, and teach us the way of prudence. O Wisdom, poor Wisdom, what a year you have had. How many times have you been snubbed this year? When prisoners are mistreated by…
1 Bringing an unloved altar from a dank room in Perthshire to Bridge of Allan.2 Photocopying (as though it were an Olympic event).3 Young Church Party.
Helen Percy has won her legal case, gaining the right, as a former Church of Scotland minister to challenge the way she left her post on the grounds of sex discrimination. As it happens I was at college with Helen, when she was famous in those days merely for keeping a pig and wearing the…
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