What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • The 10 Commandments of Using Images on Church Websites

    old camera photograph1 – Thou shalt remember that a burning candle is not the only image of all that is holy and all that is true.

    2 – Thou shalt not put the vulnerable at risk by revealing their identity and location.

    3 – Thou shalt remember when using pictures of people that the Lord thy God made them in great and glorious diversity.

    4 – Thou shalt not waste bandwidth and so shall learn how to reduce the size of thy photographs tenfold, fiftyfold or even a hundredfold.

    5 – Thou shalt not use photographs of church meetings to illustrate the life of the church for to believe that the meetings of the church represent the life and joy that the Lord thy God brings unto thee is to have heard and believed the lies of the Evil One.

    6 – Thou shalt not use photographs of groups of people where half the people have their backs unto the camera.

    7 – Thou shalt not include more than one photograph of the bishop (or the moderator, the pope or the Lord High Executioner of Titipu) standing around in robes next to other people standing around in robes.

    8 – Thou shalt love thy neighbour’s photographs as thine own, by setting up a Flickr group for them to post their images to so that you have a greater range of photographs to use on thy church website.

    9 – Thou shalt respect the copyright of every image that thou shalt use and give credit where it is due.

    10 – Thou shalt change thine images once in a while for to worship one image alone is not merely idolatry but risks the masses believing that the house of the Lord thy God is dull. And dullness is the sin against the Holy Ghost whereof many have spoken.

    Photo Credit: Afonso Lima of Brazil

    If you’ve any further commandments – do chip in with them in the comments.  “Why just 10?” as Moses said as he staggered down the mountain…

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4 responses to “Alternative Queen’s Speech”

  1. Pluralist Avatar
    Pluralist

    They are only in office for a year. Then the Lib Dems will collapse, the Conservatives lose out to UKIP, Labour will also lose out to UKIP, but should, I hope, win if only to produce a luke-warm left government that will continue to bully those on benefits.

    Reply
  2. Revruth Avatar
    Revruth

    Jolly good. May we also have fairtrade bananas sold loose instead of bags of 6 or 8, please?

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    Hear, hear!!

    Ruth – you can find such loose and fair bananas in many fine emporia in this fair city of Glasgow. Do come visit soon!

    Reply
  4. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    Kelvin, on the point of privacy, after being forced to opt-out (probably too late) from having my address (and perhaps email and telephone information) sold to anyone by Glasgow City Council, I’ve just sent the email below to Hugh Munro the Chartered Accountant who is Electoral Registration Officer for GCC. It strikes me that roll-calling in the Bible is usually A Bad Thing and in this case it quite obviously is. As Rosemary H. pointed out (in the middle of a rather heated debate on the Referendum – where she was very restrained and others including me were not) the problem with devolving power to Local Authorities is that they have to be both competent and ethical (my paraphrase, I can’t re-find her exact words).

    On Monday, 3 November 2014, 12:53, Alan McManus:

    Dear Mr Munro,

    I have just opted out of the Open Electoral Register by email, something which I should not have had to do. You, or whoever has executed this scheme, had no authority to sell my contact information and in doing so you, or they, have abused my trust. I expect a signed apology in writing and that this scheme be terminated with immediate effect.You are well aware that you are preying on the trust of the elderly who have no access to the internet and who will be too confused by this betrayal of confidence by their Local Authority to take action by telephone. You have sold the rights of privacy of the citizens of Glasgow for material gain. This is despicable and does nothing to ameliorate the legacy of the low reputation of the leadership of GCC.

    regards, Dr Alan McManus

    Reply

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