What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

    , ,

4 responses to “St Augustine”

  1. Richard Avatar
    Richard

    I like the painting very much, but, forgive me for my ignorance , what is this “explains much” of which you speak? Ohh, and the literal minded in me says – even as a baby – as the child of Monica of Hippo – he was still Augustine of Hippo.

    Reply
    1. Kelvin Avatar
      Kelvin

      Surely at this point he was Augustine of Tagaste if he was of anywhere.

      Reply
  2. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    So beehive hairdos are that old? The things you learn from art. If that Tardis that sells coffee outside the Botanic Gardens actually worked, I would go back and kidnap that straitjacketed infant, materialise at Woodstock and hand him over to the nearest couple of flowerchildren. Just imagine a Church with no Jansenists and their ilk! Okay we’d have to do without Pascal but just think what Glasgow would be like without You-Know-Who glowering over it. From Clyde Street.

    Reply
  3. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    I’ve just lost ‘What Theologian Are You?’ which I’d reached through a suggestion above, however I did the quiz and though I often thought ‘yes, but I wouldn’t put it that way’ and came up with a tie between Charles Finney (of whom I’m entirely ignorant) and AUGUSTINE! With Calvin a close third. I’m doomed. It’s predestined.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous Posts

  • Holy Saturday

    A very busy Holy Saturday morning with people decorating and cleaning the church for tomorrow. It is o­ne of my favourite times of the year. Daffodils and beeswax and happy people.

  • Good Friday

    And it really has been a good, Good Friday. Lots of people at church, the choir joining in and a film in the hall during the evening. The film was Jesus Christ Superstar and went down a treat.I say that Lent finishes at Compline o­n Good Friday and that therefore going out for a drink…

  • Hearse Victory

    An easy victory in the end. The nibs are being scaled down to make way for hearses. No chaining myself to a JCB after all. There will still be nibs, but the dropped kerb is being moved to reclaim two more parking places and the nibs considerably shortened. This will allow hearses to come close…