What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

4 responses to “Rectorial Election – Glasgow University”

  1. Alan McManus Avatar
    Alan McManus

    Cheers Kelvin,
    it was great fun – even if we didn’t do the great cup cake bake-off or the manual wheelchair race up Gilmorehill to the Uni Library that I suggested :-). As so many students have expressed disappointment at no further action on the issues we raised, I’m considering standing for Education VP in the SRC elections.
    Meanwhile, for I’m looking forward to the inclusive Christian spirituality retreat we’re running in March (10th-12th) on the lovely Isle of Cumbrae for gay and bisexual men: http://retreat.maniple.co.uk/ (some places still available).

    Reply
  2. Lawrence Rosenfeld Avatar
    Lawrence Rosenfeld

    Wait a minute! Does this mean there will not BE a Rector? How can that be?

    Reply
  3. Kelvin Avatar
    Kelvin

    There will be a Rector – Mr Snowden is the Rector. He just won’t turn up to do anything.

    Reply
  4. Agatha Avatar
    Agatha

    It might turn out to be for the best for your future – Gordon Brown was a working rector and look how it turned out for him! Well done on being an honourable second.

    Reply

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