What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Baptising

    There are few more joyful things to do in this world than a baptism service. Yesterday I got to baptise someone called Theodore, which of course means Gift of God. He rather enjoyed proceedings and I’ve seldom held a child more keen to jump right into the font.

    People sometimes comment on how much babies seem to enjoy being baptised at St Mary’s. Some older folk sometimes say, “I thought they were supposed to cry….” to which I reply, “…and I think it is nicer if they don’t”.

    Sometimes people even come out with that old medieval nonsense that the cry of a baby at a baptism is the devil coming out. Here’s your theology starter for 10: the devil ain’t in there in the first place.

    If you want to make a baby cry at a baptism, here are the instructions:

    • hold them upside down
    • hold them so they can’t see anyone they know
    • use cold water
    • flick the water in their face with a large, hard shell
    • hold them as though you are frightened you are going to drop them.

    Otherwise,

    • hold them so they can see what’s going on – sitting on the side of the font is a good start
    • surround them with a sea of happy smiling faces
    • warm up the water
    • talk to them and mean what you say
    • keep parents in sight and free from anxiety themselves
    • lots of splashes
    ,

5 responses to “Review: Leaving Alexandria: A Memoir of Faith and Doubt – Richard Holloway”

  1. Tony Whatmough Avatar
    Tony Whatmough

    Like you, I found Richard’s book greatly moving. It reduced me to tears on many occasions. But one thing I’ve found interesting over the years, is the effect on so many priests of the Kelham training. I’ve met many over the years, with different styles of preaching, but there is something distinctive about them all. Not all of them regarded Kelham with approval: one described it as a theological Borstal, but whatever, it made an impression on them, and like Richard, it has been life long. I wonder how many other theological colleges have done that?

    Reply
  2. John MacBrayne Avatar
    John MacBrayne

    Am reading it now. Not quite sure what to make of it to be honest, although thus far I have detected the age old problem of an individual confined by the strictures of an organisation….and a desire to move beyond that and back to a simpler life…not finished yet though!

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    ‘It is a book that must come top of the list of recent books which someone seeking to understand the modern Scottish Episcopal Church needs to read.’
    What a teaser! What other titles would you place on this list?

    Reply
  4. Allan Avatar
    Allan

    ‘Consummate attention seeker’, eh? Well, well……
    And it’s ‘He who’ not ‘whom’. Just saying.

    Reply
    1. kelvin Avatar
      kelvin

      It takes one to know one.

      Reply

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