• 5 things about exams that matter more than results

    Today is exam results day in Scotland. Lots of young people will be getting examination results that will make a significant difference to further study.

    Such public exam results carry with them a lot of stress.

    I’ve sat lots of exams in my life and I think it would be fair to say that I’ve had mixed results. Some have been hugely disappointing and others have been exactly what I hoped for.

    My most difficult exam results were my A levels which I got when I was 17.  Oh yes, I got a bunch of science A levels but they were not the grades I was hoping for and they meant that I couldn’t get into the university course that my heart was set on. I had to go somewhere else to get a Maths and Computing degree. At the time it seemed like the end of the world. Now, I’ve lost track of the number of people who have said to me, “wow, you got a degree in maths!”

    As it happens, I resat part of the middle year of that degree as I comprehensively failed some exams and had to take a year resitting. It also happens that I had rather an enjoyable time in the year I was failing exams and an even better time in the year that I eventually passed. And yes, thank you very much, I did get a maths degree. And though I don’t remember all that much of what I learned, I didn’t forget everything either.

    Anyway, thinking about the exam results this morning got me thinking about a few things that are more important than exam results.

    1 – I’m still in touch with friends that I sat all my exams with

    I’m glad I live in the first years of the social media revolution. It makes life completely different. It means that I’m in touch with people that I sat all my exams with. Indeed, when I think back to particular periods of my studying life I tend to think of those periods as much through the lens of the friendships that I made than the things that I was actually supposed to be learning.

    Friendships matter more than exam results. Some people find it difficult to make friends. Like passing exams, it is a knack that can be learned. However, I’d say that studying together with other people is one of the best ways of making friendships that last a long time. Many friendships made during study last longer than romantic entanglements. Go figure.

    2 – I’ve forgotten most of what I studied for

    I think it probably is the case that I’ve forgotten most of the things that I studied in order to pass examinations. I don’t think that this means that those exams were worthless – not at all. I think that eventually I learned that passing exams is about learning how to learn. I rather wish some of my teachers had been better at communicating this to me but there you go, I figured it out in the end. I struggle to conjugate French verbs and I can barely read the Hebrew characters that I once learned in order to read the book of Genesis in the original. I know I wouldn’t get very far with a calculus paper and I get frustrated that I can’t remember what I once thought I’d learned about databases. However, that’s not the point. I’ve learned how to learn and I know that I can acquire new skills when I need to. Indeed, one of the things I decided to do today was spend some time at home learning how to use a particular computer graphics package that’s going to set me free to do all kinds of tricks at work. I’ve learned how to learn and that’s more important than any number of the certificates that I have. Indeed, I go on learning with rapacious intent.

    3 – I can remember more of what I studied for than I expect

    When push comes to shove, as it does in life sooner or later, I find that I can actually remember all kinds of things that I thought I had forgotten. I may not be able to remember my Hebrew but if someone asks me why we pause in the middle of the psalm verses in morning prayer I’m straight off to dig out my Hebrew bible to show them. I can’t remember my French verbs but when life puts you on a sinking yacht in a canal in France and you have to call out les pompiers in french on a dodgy mobile phone, suddenly you find you can remember far more than you expect. (And you learn even more vocabulary on the way – I’ll never to my dying day forget that la grue means the crane). I don’t think I’d enjoy taking a driving test again but I get myself around without bumping into things rather efficiently. I’ll probably never sit any more music exams but they gave me enough to enjoy sitting at the piano and to my astonishment I find that I’ve become an opera critic whom some folk seem to listen to. I regret not taking more courses in English literature but I had an English teacher who gave me a love of the stage which has never done away and which has given me more delight than anyone else ever has. (And bless him, he’ll probably never know that was the gift he gave me).

    4 – You can almost always resit and you can always revise your plans

    So, I got disappointing A levels, I failed a year at college, I failed a driving test and when I tried the first time, the church comprehensively said I had no vocation to be a priest. In the end, none of these things defined my life. I’ve learned that you can almost always resit exams and you can always revise your plans. Things can still work out even if you get a disappointing result. Indeed, the truth is, you are going to have disappointments in life. Exams can teach you how to deal with them. Sometimes you don’t get what you want but so what? Being able to adapt and change your plans is a greater life skill than passing exams in the first place. Exam results sometimes feel like the end of the world. They never are. The trick is not to be defined by the things you have not succeeded at. An exam result is only a snapshot of how you were doing at one particular part of life. It isn’t life itself.

    5 – I’m glad I sat the exams I did, even the ones I failed

    It takes time to learn to be thankful for disappointment. Indeed, there’s no real point talking about it with someone who is in the first phase of coming to terms with it. However, the truth is, there are silver linings in many a cloud. The trouble is, it takes time and wisdom to be able to see them. Don’t ask what you learned in order to pass an exam – ask what you learned by getting the result you got. Don’t ask why you can’t do what you hoped to do, ask what you hope to do now.

    One of the things that I’ve been getting people at St Mary’s to work towards in the next few months is a new course for people to think about their own gifts and skills. I have a hunch that people are far too much defined by the exam results and certificates that they have got when in fact they have surprisingly diverse gifts which are incapable of being examined in traditional ways which add up to all kinds of inner calls.

    My congratulations go to all those rejoicing today. My commiserations to those who didn’t get what they wanted. It’s miserable. I know it is miserable but I also know it isn’t the thing that needs to define who you are.

     

8 responses to “Synod Review – things you might have missed”

  1. kelvin Avatar

    COMMENTING POLICY

    Someone has tried to leave an anonymous comment making an allegation against someone in our church, that specific instances of bullying have been covered up.

    Whatever my sympathies are about the issue in general or what it being said in this case in particular, it is my view that dealing with this kind of thing through leaving an anonymous comment on a blog is neither an appropriate nor fruitful way forward. Indeed, my guess is that any anti-bullying policy worth its salt would argue that such a comment was itself an inappropriate behaviour in church circles.

    There is a grievance procedure in the church. If the person who left the comment would like to contact me by email or phone, I would be happy to point them towards the most appropriate way of dealing with the unfinished business which is causing them concern.

  2. chris Avatar

    Glad you had the energy to write this up so soon. I’d be interested in the further pursuit of the perceived irregularities with the Reserved Sacrament – but right now I have to get out to an entirely lay-led RS communion …

  3. Sarah Murray Avatar
    Sarah Murray

    It would be great to see the stats more widely available, they are quite difficult to get hold of- having written a paper on secularization and the SEC this year- stats were the first place to start to look at the trends and whether they matched the general trends etc. however I had to go around the houses to find them and then there were some considerable gaps. The census data unfortunately doesn’t include SEC as a separate category and therefore we have no picture from that data either. The patterns and the implications are hugely important picture for the future of the church.

  4. Suz Cate Avatar
    Suz Cate

    First, I offer thanks for the glimpse at a sister-church’s inner workings. Fascinating!

    I’m so sorry to hear that your preparation for ordained ministry included bullying. My personal experience here in TEC of the USA has been entirely supportive and not a bit confrontational (which isn’t to say it hasn’t been probing at times), but I’m aware of colleagues whose “process” has definitely included some bullying, and it is disgraceful.

    Your observation that “by such small mercies that great social change happens” is apt. I’ve seen that principle in action in our diocesan convention, in the pews of multiple parishes, and, more significantly for a native of the southern US, in the hundreds of daily situations in which persons of all different sorts have access to what were in former times the exclusive privileges of white upper class.

    The fact that there are still unspoken and unseen barriers to truly free access (here I’m thinking of my African American friends who feel the need to teach their sons to avoid encounters with the police, for instance) bears witness to the need to include as contributors and consultants the subjects of projects such as the Grosvenor Essay.

    Data matter. Even outliers are meaningless without the context of the data.

  5. Melissa Holloway Avatar
    Melissa Holloway

    I believe in small mercies – but the genesis of the small mercy mentioned here is a voice of leadership and power. In my southern USA diocese, as far as I can tell, the bishop’s voice goes in a different direction.

    Also, there is a ‘once upon a time’ that I think pertains not just to the Anglican Covenant, but also to the full inclusion of gay people in the church:

    “Once upon a time, I would have been on my feet encouraging, threatening, cajoling. I’d have been sowing fear, uncertainty and doubt. I would have been at work behind the scenes, bending people’s ears, twisting people’s arms – ”

    To risk being coy- as I was recently exhorted, we wait for the holy spirit here.

    I rejoice for this episode in the Scottish Episcopal Church, but it doesn’t make me feel so sanguine about my own life in the church. I hope for the day when a bishop I can claim says such a thing in a diocesan convention and then also for the day when everyone just wonders what the nibbles will be.

  6. revruth Avatar

    I wasn’t there nor did I manage to catch up on the talk about the deaconate online, but I wonder if anyone mentioned how this was going to be financed. Ordaining lots of deacons might be a very nice thing indeed, but I wonder if there is money for this. I reckon there are few churches who could afford both, so…?

  7. Christian Avatar
    Christian

    Fr Kelvin,

    It’s sad but not surprising to read your reporting on the SEC Synod debate about ministry. I am utterly perplexed to read that folks in this day and age think that someone coming straight from college knew nothing about the world. This is one of the reasons why I think that SEC will continue to struggle to attract younger members of our communities if they will not be accepeted (given the opportunity) and recognized for who they are and what they bring–Freshness, passion, zeal, strength, etc.

    However, I thank God for the grace and boldness given to our Primus to respond robustly to such ill-thought notions like: [There were calls for more non-stipendiaries working “not in the parish but in the world” and also for us to focus on those who have “life-experience” to be sought for ministry and not those coming “straight from college who know nothing about the world”.]

  8. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Provost Kelvin

    It was refreshing to read the various reflections in the special edition of Inspires on-line post Synod 2012.
    Where there were any differences, when I compared the above with your Review, from my perspective, I felt your description was more measured & accurate.

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