• Missional – Your Time Has Come

    Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

    I hereby announce an international competition to rid the ears of the godly of a peculiar modern ugliness. Everywhere I go (and I’ve recently been engaged on a quest to go just about everywhere) I’m hearing the word MISSIONAL used in church circles. It seems to me that this is a modern phenomenon and one from which we need to be freed.

    How long, oh Lord, how long? How long will you let your church think it can succeed in bringing your love to the world whilst it mangles English grammar?

    Is it not enough that we have kidnapped the word INTENTIONAL and used it for our own devices and desires. It was clearly a sin for whoever first added those two little letters to have created such a hybrid monster. Greater though was the sin of those who GIFTED it from one Christian community to another.

    No, no, and a thousand times no. Missional will not do.

    Yet the trouble is, what should we use instead? Is there a simple word or very short phrase that is more acceptable to holy earlugs than missional?

    I declare a competition to find something else. Bring out your simplicity. Wash your spotless grammatical linen in public. Wear your loveliest past participles on your sleeve. Offer up your adjectives. Pour a gentle libation of adverbs before the altar of the Lord.

    Please, please. Offer an alternative.

    Suggestions welcome in the comments below.

    A crown of laurel to the winner.

5 responses to “Back to School”

  1. william Avatar
    william

    I note your reference to “in straight lines ” when you were at Bearsden PS.
    Were you not taught about tautologies in these former days, when education would have been more content based than you would have found on your recent visit?

  2. Kelvin Holdsworth Avatar

    Er, yes I was and no, it isn’t.

  3. PamB Avatar
    PamB

    Ah yes, the staffroom etiquette. I’ve done the cup thing, the chair thing, and, possibly worst faux-pas of all, the crossword thing in my time. Nowadays there are no staff rooms, just bases, a whole new minefield of unwelcoming stares.

  4. Jaye Richards-Hill Avatar

    Sorry to hear about the torrid time in P7 you had with the belting teacher…as a teacher myself, I’m not in favour of such tactics. I find a cold silent stare always used to work better than any cane or belt…such activities should be reserved for consenting adults only ;-/

    1. kelvin Avatar

      Thanks Jaye.

      The same teacher spent a quarter of each day on religious instruction and was, as I said, quite mad.

      One one occasion I was belted for humming. On another, simply, I suspect for being me.

      There are probably those reading this who have some sympathy with her.

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