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Tales of the City #2

25/07/2007 By Leave a Comment

The scene is the barber’s shop. I stand framed in the doorway and am greeted by Jamie the Barber.

Jamie the Barber: Phew!

Self: I’d like a haircut.

Jamie the Barber: You’re in the right place sir. Just come over here and sit yourself down.

A pause.

Jamie the Barber: I’ll just… if you don’t… hang on a minute.

Jamie the Barber removes his T-shirt. He stands and looks at me in the mirror. I look at Jamie the Barber who is now stripped to the waist.

Jamie the Barber: Its just too hot sir. Phew. That’s better. The T-shirt was getting… er, damp. Time for a fresh shirt.

Jamie the Barber walks across the shop, takes a shirt from a hanger and calmly puts it on. He buttons it up carefully, from bottom to top, leaving the top two buttons undone.

Jamie the Barber: Now sir, what will it be?

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Tales of the City

19/06/2007 By 6 Comments

A knock at the door. I answer it to find a young man wearing black T-shirt, black shorts (were they boxer shorts?) and no shoes or socks.

Me: Hello

Him: Er hello.

Me: Can I help.

Him: Er, I was just wondering if you had any white wine vinegar.

Me: Oh, hang on a minute.

Him: I’m from downstairs.

Me: Well, how about this? It is cider vinegar.

Him: Oh, Thanks, but no, it needs to be white wine vinegar.

Me: Sorry, what are you making?

Him: Oh, err, no. It is for the windows.

Me: Oh right… Well, I’m Kelvin.

Him: Oh right. Err yes, I’m David. Hi.

Me: Hi.

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