What is in Kelvin's Head?

Predictions for 2014

01/01/2014
1. Remember those people who used to say, “But what is a blog…?” Well this year you are going to be hearing them say, “But what is a mooc…?”
2. Gay men are going to start shaving again. Now that so many straight men have bought into the idea that beards are hip, it is time to mess with their fashion sense again. Consider this the memo. (Next year, the end of tattoos!)
3. Church of Scotland General Assembly will be unable to affirm last year’s compromise on a local option for ministers who happen to be gay.
4. More revelations relating to Cardinal Keith Patrick O’Brien.
5. Number of active bloggers decreases. Influence of those still blogging increases.
6. The real purpose of the Pilling Report will be revealed with hindsight as evangelicals begin to argue about its contents. (May take a couple of years, but trust me on this one). Initially this will be in private – increasingly in public. Having been the great unifying factor for Evangelicals for the last 10 years, attitudes to gay people will become the source of greatest disunity amongst Evangelicals for the next decade. Unappealing and unsatisfying as it is, Pilling is a watershed – it was never designed to court liberal opinion so we might as well stop moaning about it. It was designed to divide evangelical opinion and is going to be jolly successful.
7. The Independence Referendum will be lost here in Scotland but alas, not by enough to shut everyone up.
8. Such terrible statistics in the Diocese of Glasgow and Galloway that we lose at least 4 seats on General Synod.
9. Lord Carey will say that Christians are being persecuted in the UK, that the church is dying out or that the sky is going to fall in, and will say it at the most unhelpful time possible – probably around one of the English General Synods or Easter.
10. We will hear about our first UK gay divorce.
Trends to watch
- Continued meltdown of the Church of Scotland. Ceasing to be a national church before our very eyes.
- Internet increasingly rewards those who know how to manipulate images.
- Economic polarization of the UK continues.
New Year Predictions

9 responses to “Tales of the City #6”

Ritualist Robert

08/09/2011

Thank you for introducing the word “stoor” to those of us in the non-Scottish world.

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Hermano David | Brother Dahâ€¢veed

08/09/2011

Have you been glowing again?

Honestly, I think that it really says something great when they know, even if in a setting where they might not know!

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Ruth

08/09/2011

I agree! As daughter of a C of S one, I’ve spent time in the company of more than my fair share. Some have ‘the aura’ and some, most definitely do not…..

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PamB

08/09/2011

Did we know that the Norwegian for vacuum cleaner is “stoorsooker”?

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Rosemary Hannah

08/09/2011

Huge compliment.

And any time you want to come here and be calm at workmen, feel free. Then I can be free to go somewhere quiet and just lose it, as I have been longing to do for some weeks …

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kelvin

08/09/2011

@PamB â€“ we didnâ€™t, but we are delighted.

@Rosemary â€“ thanks but no thanks. Being calm at someone elseâ€™s workmen is surely too much for anyone.

@Ruth â€“ the day I was ordained, the wife of a bishop told me my aura was golden. She saw them regularly.

@Hermano David â€“ You couldnâ€™t see the glow for the dust.

@Ritualist Robert â€“ happy to be of service. It is the perfect word for what is produced when you mess with chimneys.

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Ritualist Robert

09/09/2011

@PamB – delighted indeed!

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Hermano David | Brother Dahâ€¢veed

10/09/2011

You couldnâ€™t see the glow for the dust.

It is obvious that the VDW could. Good on yer.

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Rosemary Hannah

12/09/2011

What I now need is somebody to come back and be very very UNcalm at a joiner. Very very unclam indeed – new floor ends two foot short of the wall, and yes, there WAS enough wood. And good neighbour/joiner is hors de combat following a RTA.

Or you could try coming and being very calm at me, if your nerve is good enough.

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