• How to sleep on the sleeper

    Did I mention that I came back from London on the sleeper? It remains my favourite way of travelling back from south to north as you can catch it after a night at the theatre. (In this case Democracy at the Old Vic). Generally I prefer to fly down and sleeper back.

    Here are my Caledonian Sleeper tips….

    • Don’t believe the time that they advertise as when the sleeper will be ready for boarding. It is often later than that.
    • Leaving a big city at midnight by train is inherently romantic.
    • Being in Euston at 11.30 pm is inherently unromantic.
    • For excitement, intrigue, value for money and frisson book a bargain berth and share with Who Knows Who.
    • If sharing with an unknown companion who has not arrived when the train leaves, don’t presume anything. He could show up anytime, anywhere.
    • For a better night’s sleep pay more and get a cabin to yourself.
    • For no sleep at all, use the reclining seats. You will however, learn much about humanity.
    • Don’t worry about sleeping – tell yourself that all you have to do is doze and you’ll probably fall asleep anyway.
    • The more you pay, the better the breakfast in bed.
    • Murmur in the steward’s ear as you get on that you’d prefer your breakfast to be served after everyone else if possible
    • Beware of muddling the buttons that open the toilet compartment with the adjacent buttons which open the disabled cabin next door. (Especially at 4 am).
    • Flipflops.
    • Travelling North to South on certain tickets give you access to a lounge at Euston with free showers. No such luck coming the other way.
    • If turfed off the sleeper at 7 am and going to work at 9 am, don’t go home and go to sleep. Go swimming instead.
    • You can charge phones in the lounge car but not in your cabin.
    • That little hook by your head is for putting your watch on, but don’t forget it in the morning.
    • Take extra water.
    • The first stop is Carlisle. The stop with all the shunting is Carstairs.
    • Don’t go for a wander before Carstairs or your cabin might go to Glasgow whilst you go to Edinburgh.
    • You might arrive going a different direction to the one you set off in. Don’t be confused, they’ve not turned you round and sent you back to London after all.

    Any tips I missed?


19 responses to “Back to work”

  1. Kimberly Avatar

    I’ve been trying to get the last line of each verse to scan better in the absence of the ‘O’ (which is hidden in the vocative, but well hidden indeed since deus is an irregular vocative…)

    perhaps,

    care deus, cum ba ia — ?

  2. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    Kimberley,

    The time spent feeding you all those fudge doughnuts was certainly not wasted

  3. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    How did we get from Kum by Yah, or even Cum ba ia, to fudge doughnuts?

  4. Kimberly Avatar

    Moyra, you have to realise that fudge doughnuts are Zebadee’s equivalent of Mornington Crescent. With enough ingenuity, a link is always possible.

    (It’s a St Andrews thing…)

  5. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    I understand….

  6. Sarah SSM Avatar
    Sarah SSM

    I’m sure that there is something holy about fudge doughnuts. Holey, anyway. Come by here, my Lord, we have fudge doughnuts?

    Unfortunately, I live in a convent not sufficiently hol(e)y to have them. Too bad. Nor do we have cum ba ia around a candle, but perhaps Compline counts? I’ll suggest to our Superior that we do cum ba ia for our Compline hymn Tuesday. I’m sure she’d be thrilled (Kimberly can comment on that, I’m sure, as they are acquainted).

    I’m sure someone could come up with an appropriate analysis of cum ba ia from a hermeneutic related to fudge donuts and liberation theology…

  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    personally, I’m not sure that I have ever tasted a fudge doughnut. I’ m sure I have no idea what you are all talking about.

  8. Kimberly Avatar

    No, Kelvin. You have never bought a fudge doughnut. That’s not the same thing.

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