What is in Kelvin's Head?

  • Tales of the City #8

    The scene is Glasgow Pride. The protagonists are making their way down Argyll Street in Finnieston. I am dressed in a black suit, clerical collar and small lapel ribbon in all the colours of the rainbow. The group I am with all carry colourful posters proclaiming “The Scottish Episcopal Church Welcomes You”. Mine is mauve. 

    A young man sidles up to walk beside me.

    Young Man: Hi!

    Self: Hello! Where are you from?

    Young Man: Well, Australia, actually. 

    The Young Man pauses.

    Young Man: I just, er, I just wanted to ask you something.

    Self: Oh, OK, ask away.

    Young Man: Well, are you real?

    Self: Oh yes, I’m very real.

    The Young Man gestures with his head towards the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence who, beautifully bedecked in Catherine Laboré style wimples and rainbow habits of various styles are waving a large rainbow flag in front of us.

    Young Man: Yes, but the nuns?

    The Young Man pauses.

    Young Man: They are not real. Right?

    Self: Right.

     

    ,

19 responses to “Back to work”

  1. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    I’ve been trying to get the last line of each verse to scan better in the absence of the ‘O’ (which is hidden in the vocative, but well hidden indeed since deus is an irregular vocative…)

    perhaps,

    care deus, cum ba ia — ?

    Reply
  2. Zebadee Avatar
    Zebadee

    Kimberley,

    The time spent feeding you all those fudge doughnuts was certainly not wasted

    Reply
  3. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    How did we get from Kum by Yah, or even Cum ba ia, to fudge doughnuts?

    Reply
  4. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    Moyra, you have to realise that fudge doughnuts are Zebadee’s equivalent of Mornington Crescent. With enough ingenuity, a link is always possible.

    (It’s a St Andrews thing…)

    Reply
  5. Moyra Avatar
    Moyra

    I understand….

    Reply
  6. Sarah SSM Avatar
    Sarah SSM

    I’m sure that there is something holy about fudge doughnuts. Holey, anyway. Come by here, my Lord, we have fudge doughnuts?

    Unfortunately, I live in a convent not sufficiently hol(e)y to have them. Too bad. Nor do we have cum ba ia around a candle, but perhaps Compline counts? I’ll suggest to our Superior that we do cum ba ia for our Compline hymn Tuesday. I’m sure she’d be thrilled (Kimberly can comment on that, I’m sure, as they are acquainted).

    I’m sure someone could come up with an appropriate analysis of cum ba ia from a hermeneutic related to fudge donuts and liberation theology…

    Reply
  7. kelvin Avatar
    kelvin

    personally, I’m not sure that I have ever tasted a fudge doughnut. I’ m sure I have no idea what you are all talking about.

    Reply
  8. Kimberly Avatar
    Kimberly

    No, Kelvin. You have never bought a fudge doughnut. That’s not the same thing.

    Reply
  9. Kelvin Avatar
    Kelvin

    Ah.

    Reply

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